Love

My last set of bricks…

Yesterday I was reunited with a man of my past. I figured since we were in the same town, I would take the time to visit. We haven’t seen each other in almost eight years, and our last encounter ended in a confrontation. He wasn’t a fan of the man I had fell in love with. He warned me about him, but unfortunately I had to learn for myself. During our time apart, this man would always cross my mind, but never enough for me to feel compelled to pick up the phone. My ego and pride got the best of me, and this wasn’t our first go around. We had a few times where we would stop talking and I would be the one to initiate the reconciliation. I was told since I never carried his name, that this set the tone for our relationship. We both loved each other, but feared getting too close. Vulnerability was what he feared and never was taught, and I emulated his very behavior. He was my first love and was known for breaking many hearts, including mine. All because of him I believed in the power of change,  which was the main reason I stayed in my marriage. I waited for the last man, because she didn’t wait for you. I waited for the respect, loyalty, trust, and love. It never came.  He told me that he was the only man who ever loved me, and he lied.  I spent so much time searching for you when you never left. Why do we as a people fear telling those what we truly feel about them? Why do we wait until the day their body lays lifeless to share how much they meant to us? Intuitively, I knew it was time to face my fears. You were the last chapter for me to close and rewrite. As soon as we connected, it was like time had never passed. The pain of the past didn’t affect us in that present moment. Time stood still and the only emotions felt was love. All these years of wanting and wishing for a man to hold me still feeling unfulfilled, I now realized it was you. Yesterday I felt whole as the pieces to my puzzle had been found. I was given permission from you to become the woman I am meant to be. I wrote London’s Prints as a project to share with the world, and eventually I desired for it to become a residual income. I wanted it to become a bestseller and for me to become wealthy off of my seven-year project. Writing my truth was my therapy and was clarity for all of those involved. My ability to be transparent about my life and living in my truths made loved ones really consider their own. I lost focus on a project that was set to heal, and began to focus on the numbers and money. Instead, I finally have realized I am rich in so many other ways. My healing consisted of me focusing on the amount of time I was single. I would tell people the amount of time in the process which meant I was focusing on the wrong thing. I decided to allow my intuition to guide me to what I need on my personal journey. Yesterday I was hugged to the point that I was uncomfortable. A hug so tight that I could tell that was the last time you would let me go. It took me to let go of the man that wanted me all to himself to realize how much I had sacrificed for my relationship with him. You weren’t even invited to the wedding, nor was it the wedding you probably imagined for me. Yesterday, I could finally breathe as the last set of bricks had lifted off of me. I was reunited with my father after eight years of separation. Now this girl can really make progressive steps to becoming who she is meant to be. Nothing is holding me back, not even me.

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Love

6

The Sixth Commandment a divine rule

The number six is very significant. In the Bible, it is the number of the “man”. The number of imperfection.

The number of my son’s current age, and the age of the man’s son who’s blood was shed by a man I once loved. Guilty…or not his presence was at the scene casted as a shadow when his light transitioned to darkness

Today the sixth day of February I was released from imprisonments. From the many crimes I have committed over the past 10 years. Lives have been taken. Many have died before they die. Judgement day is here on earth. everyday by the very people who throw stones at those who have sinned. Equals. I was an accomplice to the murder of my ex husband.  He died long before he played the role in the loss of another.

 

 

What if I told you that I was a murderer…

What if I told you I killed someone

one of the greatest sins ever known to man.

Thou shalt not kill

What would you think of me? Would everything I ever accomplished be taken away from me. Would my loved ones love me less? Would you judge me. Would you see me as beneath you as this is something you would never do.

We all have had thoughts of anger or rage that may have consisted of just a split second of malicious things we could do to someone who has caused us pain. Have you ever thought of taking your own life? What if I told you…you are just like me.

Maybe not physically

But the thought has crossed your mind.

We are all murderers to the first degree.

You have played a part in someone’s spiritual death.

Your words have pierced a soul of a loved one

Like a knife embedded into a crucial artery

Your words ringing through their mind like a gunshot to the brain

Relationships with humanity are like a game of Russian roulette

Many empty chambers…

And a connection that can mean life or death

One pull of the trigger your heart beating fast

Praying that god would spare your life and heart this time

The only thing is you control the gun and what you expose yourself to.

We invite murders into our lives knowing what they are capable of from the beginning

We see the red flags or traces of the blood of others on their hands

No amount of washing can erase the lives they have taken. Because it is the tongue that is the murder weapon. It is a silent killer. It can also produce life if used in the right way. So my question to you is…What is your body count?

Copy the link below to purchase a copy of the author’s current published memoir London’s Prints now available on Amazon and Barnesandnoble.com

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Londons-Prints-Kieona-L-R-Fairley/dp/1493720570

Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/londons-prints-kieona-lr-fairley/1129500946

Love

Good morning beautiful…

Good morning beautiful…

The basic half ass endearing text that may attract most women

For me I need and want more

This text probably auto populated on your smart phone as it has been used for every new chick of interest

I’m sure Siri is aware of the rotation

I need and desire substance and depth

I need a man to cut beneath the forbidden fruit to find the sweetness that has been protected by a thick skin

A skin that has been a barrier for the many times I have fallen

How surface are you?

Do you fear getting to know me because you failed to seek the true you?

My beauty is beyond the physical

Tell me my soul is beautiful

That you love my kindness and empathy

That my independence and confidence sparks your interest

That my sensitivity and femininity reminds you of how a real woman should be

Recite something you seen me write

Create a nickname just for me, something we created from our first night

Peel through my layers and dig deeper then the beauty in the morning

You will be

Surprised to find how much I shine in the night.