Love

LOVE.

            Loving gives a sense of life. A sense of fulfillment. To lose love is like losing air. So close, so near to death. If we don’t have air then how will we survive. Air is vital to every being here on earth. Without air we will die. LOVE is also vital to every being. Without it will be the death of your soul. Love can be dangerous to those who abuse it. Just like that street drug for the first time, the high can leave you with a lifelong addiction. For me, love is my personal addiction. Just like most addicts they try to fill some form of a void by using toxic products or things that can be detrimental to their health or wellbeing after a long period of use. My void is my personal battle with myself. I am constantly learning new things about myself as I grow older and I have a problem with loving myself. This is extremely important, as we all should know. I can’t count how many times I have been told that I cannot love someone else if I do not love myself. To a certain extent they are right. The only problem is I am one of those that love too hard leaving nothing left for me or so I thought. I give and they take. Once the relationship ends I am left with that void, left unfilled and feeling incomplete. I swear after experiencing heartache it’s like I have to start all over again. I have to learn about me all over again. What are my likes and dislikes? Slowly crawling until I can walk again. The thing is though, once I begin to take my first steps and walking on my own. LOVE comes and knocks me down. I guess you can say I relapse. I become dependent on my spouse to give me my high. Once they stop, the energy is withdrawn from my soul slowly. Killing me, my worth, and my self-confidence. In The end, I feel as though I have nothing left to give only coming to realize that a light like mine carries love abundantly. I am committed to breaking this cycle and dedicated to going into my next relationship whole. Can you believe my greatest teacher is only four?

 

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