Fear of Happiness

Have you ever been so happy that it frightened you to the point you would not allow yourself to enjoy the moment? That your soul has become so inclined and receptive to negative energy. I’m a giver so I have to learn to receive and as I sat down in my car and evaluated where I am now as opposed to where I was a year ago. I cried because I realized that God has never failed me. There has been a lot of people who have walked out of my life over the past few years. I decided to hold people accountable as I do so for myself. I asked what did I do to deserve your mercy and he reminded me of my heart. Where I was years ago was all a reflection of how I felt about myself. Everything that I have done over the years in regards to accolades is minimal. My true strength lies in me being a fallen soul that stood and rose alone only to lend my hand to others. I am not bitter, I am better and have learned that my changes has inspired others. I have been hurt and continued to love. I gave life even after it was taken from me. I know this may seem harsh but Fuck anyone who doesn’t like the improved me. The one that knows her worth and wont settle for less. Don’t take my heart or kindness for weakness. Shit after everything I have experienced, I laugh at fear because I know once it subsides and I get out of my comfort zone, happiness will be there to remind me its been here all along. All I need is within me!

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