T.O.N.Y

Solange Knowles warned us about him! T.O.N.Y also known as “the other night why” was one of the first guys I dated after being separated. After everything I had been through with my previous relationship, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Tony was my “step out of my comfort zone ” guy. He definitely wasn’t someone I would usually go for but then again I never really had a type. After my marriage, I can honestly say me and “love” were not friends anymore and I began to lose faith in love. If you know anything about Philadelphia, many of the men from the area don’t get out of their area that much. He was working Center City in a parking garage that I happened to park in. The rates there were unbelievable but it was a long walk to the office. It was one of my mommy free days where my ex had my son for the afternoon, which I got the opportunity to explore the city. I did a little shopping and had a few drinks at a local bar during happy hour. I saw the guy a few times but I never really paid much attention. He was cute but now a days for me, that is not enough. This day in particular, there was some issues with the payment machine and I was unable to use my card. I had no cash on me, and was practically stuck at this broken machine. I called for assistance and guess who appears! He proceeded to help me and took it upon himself to use his own money to get me out. When a person does anything for me as small as even holding a door, I am extremely grateful. He on the other hand immediately made a soft spot in my heart just through his simple gesture. He was my hero  that day! So with him being kind of cute and generous, he ignited something within me to want to know more about him. One day after work I was walking up the stairs to my car and saw him talking on the phone. He immediately stopped in his tracks to say hello. I returned the hello of course with a very friendly smile. I flirted a little and he flirted back. To make a long story short number were then exchanged. Tony was unique and interested in a lot of the same things as I was. He was into energy and karma. Also the importance of treating others how we want to be treated. We started hanging out a lot and went on a few dates. Everything seemed like it hit off very well. I mean he even cooked me breakfast and was always such a gentleman. A few friends of mine were interested in finding more about this mysterious man because I didn’t do my research. It even got to the point where I brought him around friends and people I was close to. Although there were some warning signs from the beginning… I never been to his house, but he always came to mine and slept over frequently. We never exchanged social media information which is fine however this can be very helpful! (This will all make sense at the end) I never met any of his friends or family but he continued to tell me I would eventually. So, one day Tony emails me after a few days missing to tell me his belongings were stolen. He rode the train, as most people who lived in  the city does, and realized his backpack went missing. He told me he would have to get another phone and he would have to contact me via email until he did so. This should have been a “lightbulb” moment for me because this was a confusing situation. I have learned that if it doesn’t make sense then it isn’t right! After emails and phone calls over a span of two weeks, TONY remained missing. I was introduced to the term “Ghosting” by a friend. If you don’t know what it means Google it. It is a term used to describe someone you date for a period of time and they suddenly disappear. No return calls, emails, hints, or clues. I was again heartbroken. One of my girlfriends I will refer to as “Inspector Gadget” decided to do some of her own research and her findings were interesting. I get a text message from Inspector Gadget of photos, videos, and messages of this man I was dating for a few months appearing to be alive and well…in a whole relationship. I respect the men that are honest about their situation that give me the opportunity to make a decision. I was not looking for nothing serious but neither was I looking to be a side chick either. I just couldn’t understand why he would lie especially since it was fairly new. I became really frustrated with dating and decided to give it a rest after  this occurrence. It really messed with me because in this type of situation I had no closure. One thing about TONY was that he reminded me that I was the prize. He worshipped everything about me even if it was extremely short lived. Not everyone is in your life for ever, he was a season. “I could’ve been in love by now, if it wasn’t for T.O.N.Y”…#datingafterdivorce

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