Back-pedaling

Yesterday was such a beautiful Spring day, and the first time in a while Pennsylvania had nice weather. I took Micah out for a ride on his bike, since he hasn’t had the chance to ride it in a while. My son is very cautious and careful, so riding a bike takes him out of his comfort level. He likes to be in control of things…(I wonder where he gets that from?). He loves the idea of riding like a speed demon and enjoying all the excitement bike riding brings but…he loves to back pedal too much for me. I guess I am being pretty hard on him as he is only four but him and his brakes are best friends. He feels comfort in knowing he has control over the situation at anytime while back pedaling. This blog I am writing is not about my sons experience with bike riding yesterday but the term back-pedaling really made me think. This whole healing/still single process is not an easy path.  TD Jakes referred to a process like this as “Sweat Equity”, a process in which it will require discipline and work.  I found it interesting he addressed the importance of Christians acknowledging accountability. We ask God for things but simply refuse to put in the work for them. I asked God to make my marriage and family work, and he provided those exact things. Except, I did not prepare myself nor did my spouse. We ask for things but don’t prepare to receive them. Anyways back to the back-pedaling! So what is back-pedaling? Back-pedaling is to retreat or move backwards. I like to compare it with an addiction, as it really feels like it when you’re in a situation. It is like being clean or sober for a while and returning to bad old habits. With every situation there comes a breaking point. The point where we are tested, and are ready to give up. Being single and preparing, (not waiting) for the right one can test you in so many ways. Lacking sex and intimacy can drive you insane, because this is a basic human need. Companionship and love from the opposite sex are things that drive people. I have been alone for two years and it has been pretty tough, but I refuse to settle and rather prepare for the right one. Many lose sight of their dreams and desires only to back-pedal to what “feels good right now”. Back pedaling is a temporary fix to a life long problem. So in my personal case I have come such a long way in the healing process. Taking responsibility for my part I played in the ending of my past relationships. I also have gained the knowledge of what I want and things that I require or are important to me. I also realized that back-pedaling can put a dent in all the hard work it took for one to get to where they are. Whether it’s dieting, healing, relationships, spirituality, or breaking of old habits it is important to remain consistent with yourself. Also asks yourself before you decide to back-pedal, what is my reason for doing so? Is it worth all the hard work I have invested so far? Lets just put this out there, I have a lot to offer in the relationship department and choose to be single. I’m sure there are plenty guys out there that would like to wife me up for their own selfish reasoning. Why would I want to waste my time and provide an investment in something that provides no return. It’s easy to go back to that place of comfort. To the person that says they love you but actions don’t match up. To eat those same foods you grew up on knowing they are potentially killing you. To not have expectations of yourself and to settle like most of the people around you. Right now my son is able to brake when he back-pedals. He can proceed with caution and control his journey. The bigger the bike there is no option of braking when back-pedaling.  The bigger bikes require more thought and the brake is located at the handle bars. If you are not aware of this feature you can lose total control of the bike. The longer you choose to back pedal the more difficult it is to become resilient. It becomes much harder to get back on your original path once you have been back pedaling for a while. It can be exhausting and all the work you have put into back pedaling has led you no where. You are the driver of your own bike and are responsible for your decisions. Stop back-pedaling on a path to no where and start pedaling on your personal path to happiness.

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