Team Player! Be careful who you pick

For my grad school class, I recently had to read a book called “The Five dysfunctions of a Team” by Patrick Lencioni. The book was for a leadership class that teaches the fundamentals of being in a managerial role. The book focuses on the corporate world and the five key principles for success. It is important for a company to create a team focused environment for the company to reach its fullest potential. With my vivid mind and interpretation, I felt like this concept of principles can be applied to not only the professional world but also personal. So, a lot of women are out here playing the victim when they have forgotten they played a role in their team building. I’m sure you recall being in middle school in gym class being able to select and build your team. Depending on the activity that day, you would point to the person or people you thought would help you win. In certain circumstances you would pick a friend (knowing they weren’t skillful), or how about the bottom picks (the last people to be selected). Most women including myself have picked team players solely based of off their physique. The guy that stand 6’2 with the fresh-cut, looks like he may get the job done but has no skill or talents he can bring to the team. When it comes to picking players and when it comes to intimacy, the bedroom skills overshadow his life skills. You and your team-mate get pregnant and your dealing with a lifetime of unnecessary conflict. This causing the main focus to be neglected and the child suffers. I once believed that Love was a you needed for a lasting relationship. I now disagree. With Love there are underlying components that need to be met. Whether you’re in an intimate relationship with someone or co parenting, whether you like them or not, you are on the same damn team. I spent time in court battling with my son’s father over custody. Although he was not presenting to me the dad I wanted him to be, he was an active father. I was stealing the ball from my own teammate. I don’t care what no one says, a child needs both parents period. Fuck the I’m independent I can do it on my own shit. Unless the father is abusive or is a threat to your child, they need that time to build a relationship. It may not be what you wanted for your child, nor is it your job to discuss negatively to your child about this parent. We are all learning day by day when it comes to this parenting thing. If you think you got it down pack, then your life must be perfect as well. The Five dysfunctions addressed in the book are:Image result for the five dysfunctions of a team pyramid

Conflict is good, especially when you learn to argue fair. Learning the others behaviors and ways in which they communicate. Co-parenting means that as a team you have a common goal, that also means going outside of your ego and needs. This was especially difficult for me because there was a lot of hurt on my end. I had to come to terms with his decision, respect them, and focus conversation on the bigger picture (our son). When it comes to picking a team member, make sure you have an accountability partner. Someone that calls you out on behaviors or things that are distracting you from your goals. At my age now, I am always surrounding myself with soul fillers. People who aren’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong. Stop surrounding yourself with surface people. There is no growth without accountability. In relationships with shared and separate goals, hold each other accountable so that the goals will become easier to obtain. Trust. Trust yourself enough to know that what ever trials may come to your team, that it will be okay. No team can always see eye to eye. However learning to respect and appreciate the differences allows everyone to grow. So ladies, that player you see with the light eyes, beard, and supple brown skin….check his stats. Make sure he has the skills and will be an asset to your team. Remember, you get to pick and build this lifelong relationship. #teambuilder #leadbyexample


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