DNA

In the words of Kendrick Lamar:

I got, I got, I got, I got
Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA
Cocaine quarter piece, got war and peace inside my DNA
I got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNA
I got hustle though, ambition, flow, inside my DNA
I was born like this, since one like this, Immaculate conception

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Before you, there was a beginning.  A story between your parents and how you were conceived. What I am coming to realize is how important that story is. It is not about how it happen, but more about the two people involved and the circumstances surrounding your conception. No one ever remembers the day they were conceived or even the day they were born. I’m actually glad they left that part out. What I’m trying to convey is to do your research. After watching being Mary Jane, I was inspired to write this. The story of those before us, can help to put pieces of the puzzle together. Parents we need to do better. How do we fail to have conversations with our children about our lives before them. It appears that everyone loves to live with the elephant in the room. Two imperfect people that become perfect after having a child. Families are comfortable being in uncomfortable situations, while lying to their children. These are the same parents that taught there children to “do as I say, not as I do”. The same parents that teach their children, as youngsters to not have a voice. The children grow up believing that everything their parents say is never wrong. These same parents never admit to their wrongdoing, leaving the children feeling inadequate. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time for everything. The issue is leading your child blindly. At some point, allow your child to see your faults and mistakes. I personally believe when they are swept underneath a rug, they resurface, and the situation mimics exactly what the parents tried to avoid. On “Being Mary Jane”, the mother, an older woman, rekindled a flame with a lover from long ago.  This was the same man who left her and her son a long time ago. Her son was raised by another man who fit the role of a true father. After 40 years, the mother told her son that the man she cheated with was his real father. Her son struggled with drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling his whole life. The apple did not fall too far from the tree. Although he was placed in a loving environment, and had a great upbringing, some things he just could not avoid. The pain, addiction, and troublesome behaviors were passed down in his DNA. Some may not agree with me on this, but I know this for myself to be true. My mother didn’t tell me much but she did give me an understanding of the situation I was brewing in. My father was a drug addict, and stole my things as a child. He frequently abandoned me at the time, and was known to be a ladies man. My mother’s pain created a child of worry, guilt, and extreme compassion. For my son he was born as a protector. He felt the strength and pain within my womb, and at four he makes it his obligation.  I have no problem telling my son that I am wrong. In fact, I have learned a lot from him and London. Parents that don’t think they can learn from their children are fools. At a certain age, we are responsible for our knowledge. The best knowledge is self-knowledge. We all behave in ways and many times we don’t truly understand why. There is a reason behind every mans doing. Whether it is considered good or bad. If you haven’t had the talk, do so now. Take a seat with your parents and have a conversation about the circumstances before you. I don’t need a trust fund, or my parents to set me up for this life financially. This would be nice, but teach me your struggles, your pain, the love you shared and received. Tell me how imperfectly perfect your life turned out to be. Maybe when life hits, it wouldn’t hurt so bad. Instead, I would have the tools to fight back. If you shared your struggles, I could choose different paths, because you showed me how it turned out for you. Parents don’t just share your DNA, share your story.

 

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