This weekend wasn’t about color. It was about celebrating our ability to bring forth life, and standing in our power. Its unfortunate, but most times when a woman stands in her truth, she is called a bitch. A woman who demands respect from men, or other women. Together we marched for the gender inequality in regards to pay, ceased the fears of other women in regards to seeking male dominated positions, and shared #METOO stories of overcoming sexual abuse. We came together and marched for a common purpose with many differing personal agendas. We all had a rhythm of rage, and were looking for a positive form of outlet. We gave gratitude to all those who called us a “Bitch”. Not a female dog, but a woman who is unapologetically embracing herself. A “Bitch” doesn’t take crap from no one and is completely aware of what she does and doesn’t need. People fear the “Bitch” because she is aware of her power, and she understands that the death of her very being is within her silence. She no longer feels the needs to be or feel accepted. She loves herself. “Bitch” is a term that does not identify with color, it is used amongst all cultures and nationalities. A Bitch is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “A often offensive: malicious,spiteful, or overbearing woman-sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse.” Similar to the word “nigger” in my culture, we have found a way to embrace the negative terms placed on us. The only time a term has value is what we place on it. A person can’t curse you unless you make an agreement with yourself that the terms identifies with who you are. I guess for the rest of this blog, I will be called a “Bitch” for my offensive and overbearing opinion on this empowering weekend.
There is always someone trying to find the darkness in light situations, and unfortunately its always the one who does nothing about what they are complaining about. This weekend after such an inspiring experience I woke up to multiple articles about Black women complaining about the marches not being tailored to them, and underrepresented. I also noticed the larger amounts of white women participating, however in Philadelphia, the co-president, Tom Wolfe’s representative, and march leaders, were led by black women. Although the participating numbers were much less, than white women, if they refused to show up then who would advocate for African- American women. I’m a bit disappointed with my community and the current move from being empowered to being or playing victim. We are blaming others for not representing us or understanding us, yet we don’t even show up for ourselves. It appears Black women are blaming others for their lack of community, when many of our women are refusing to do work amongst themselves. Funny, if Cardi B was to appear, many of our women would be in attendance, as a stripper turned rapper has become the representative for our women. Or if some of the black women thought their men were cheating they would have marched their asses in purpose to catch him in the act. I am not saying all of my community but most of our women lack sisterhood. The art of unity and sisterhood begins at home. Many young black women are growing up in a home with a mother who sets them up with a competitive mindset. You are no longer my daughter the more you grow, you become my competition. We pride ourselves on the lack of girlfriends and support from other women. We cannot build a community, if we don’t have it within ourselves. So with the many complaints of African American women not being represented during the march, what do you plan on doing as a part of the movement from where you sit? We as black women are still fighting each other or beefing over baby daddy’s as opposed creating a solution.
One thing that really disturbed me is the measurement of pain or trauma experienced as an African-American women opposed to a white woman. We as African American women have been oppressed and experienced trauma throughout history. Black women we are in denial, but a lot of our trauma and pain is self-inflicted. While remaining in the victim stage your mind believes it has no ability to change your current circumstances. We can control how we engage with each other just by complimenting the next queen on her accomplishments. We call each other Queens and speak as if we are evolved and woke, but watch Love and Hiphop and other shows that degrade us a black women.We support this though? I get it! But who the hell are we to tell someone from another culture that their pain is less than ours? We are being reactive as opposed to proactive. I feel you all on your desire not to attend, but what do you plan on creating with your platforms? What are you all doing to support the sisters within your community? What are you doing to change this? I attended this event alone. I recognized my difference of color amongst the crowd, however I represented who I am. I am a queen, a reflection of God’s love for us. When you stand in greater purpose, color becomes irrelevant. I was human, not just a Data Manager, not just a mother, not just an African American, a blogger, or a woman. I was a woman embracing a voice that was silenced since childhood, and into a ten-year relationship. I was in the same energy space of women breaking glass ceilings and plowing new paths for the generations after us. We are always trying to find something to separate ourselves or to box us in. I don’t want to limit myself in that slavery like mindset. Call me a ‘bitch” for speaking my truth but as a people we don’t celebrate each other as we should. The lack of self-love is evident, amongst both out men and women. Once you move beyond the surface mindsets you will see that you no longer are in competition with others outside of you. Instead, you are your own competitor. Your job is to conquer self. If we as people would stand together, as a sisterhood, everything would change.
Call me a “Bitch” and I will respond with “Thank you!” as I am grateful to have found my voice. That I will no longer allow you to play on my vulnerabilities, just to make you feel comfortable. Call me a “Bitch” because I will no longer dim my light, or accept your sexual gestures towards me as a compliment. I am a woman. A woman capable of bringing forth life. A position God gave me that gives you a preview of my true power. I live in purpose and am unapologetically me. This is my platform, and my life! If what I am represents a “Bitch”, then a “Bitch” I will be. #BITCHMOVEMENT