On a self love journey it requires you to self reflect, monitor, and or observe behaviors of others around you. I’m not into industry news/celebrity beef but I figured I would use this as an example for my concern for our cultural lack of sisterhood. Although this is a disease that is affecting our local community, it appears that even those with greater platforms and financial gains still are affected by this cancer amongst our black women. Scrolling through Instagram in the past, I used to obsess over the flawless beauty, curvaceous and melanin enriched fashionistas. Many of the women were the vision of my desired body goals. Until recently I see many of these women spend a lot of time on the exterior and minimal work internally. Most of the women from their online rants and consistent beef over their supposed competitors reveal they still have a lot of work to do. Although many of their businesses are lucrative and their acquiring materialistic desires, it appears that the mentality has never changed. I couldn’t believe the story of Fetty Wap and his multiple “baby mommas” and children. These women feuding over a man that apparently they all ended up having the same experience. We as women of color will fight and argue to prove our differences only to realize that you really didn’t have the “Golden pussy” to change this man’s behavior. We fall to realize that we are denying our children and ourselves the experiences to build a stronger community and gain the respect back from our men. Hurt people, hurt people, and the Cardi B/Azalea beef is an unfortunate reminder. Both successful artist and women of color, tearing each other down on social media to prove a point. Azalea banks although extremely articulate instead of uplifting Cardi, used her intelligence to degrade and disrespect a woman expecting her first child. Sometimes making a point or clapping back doesn’t require a response. We rip apart each other’s confidence, belittle each other’s success and cause pain to each other in the very same manner pain has afflicted us.
When I describe to others my view on women of color and their sisterhood, it is just like Wakanda. Wakanda is an unrealistic place that gave us hope of unity and strength within our culture. It was a vision and a dream of what we could be. We already have to fight within society to be accepted and respected. Why should we have to fight at home or within our communities. We have built a false sense of connection because in a few important areas, we still seem to disconnect. We will smile and accept each other but when it comes to money and men there still lies that competitive aspect. We have a lacking mindset when it comes to money and the black man. We feel we have to compete against each other when in reality we are fighting against ourselves. We are mad at Society for degrading us but we are apart of the problem. When you take the time to argue with a woman on social media you are using your platform to degrade your own people. The primary reason our men disrespect us is due to the disconnect between us as women. For some strange reason there are women that think they hold the “golden pussy” that will miraculously change the actions of a consistent liar and cheater. News flash… a man changes because he decided to make that change. Our lack of sisterhood and empathy for each other has given men an advantage. If we loved ourselves as much as we say we do, we wouldn’t be able to talk down to our sister. Even if a woman has the actions of a “bitch” she truly is screaming out for help. Your job is not to judge her but rather point out to her that you see there is an issue within. Sometimes we can’t see our own worth and it may take someone else to remind us. There is more than enough for all of us. You can blog, write, sell clothes, sing, rap, dance or whatever your talent may be. If there is another sister that does the same, understand you both are unique in what you have to offer. When you know who you are, you know what you bring to the table. True queens adjust each other’s crowns and empathize for their story. Respect each other and build each other up. You will soon learn the very woman you find conflict with is mirroring to you your own insecurities. Because if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm. With that being said there would be no energy or emotions triggered when negativity decides to approach you via a Instagram post. Wakanda sisterhood is this?