Black women, Fetal loss, Grief, Inspirational, Living, Loss, Love, Resilience, Self help, Self Love, sprituality, Uncategorized, Women

Spiritual Weight?

 

BeAre you carrying spiritual weight? After being on this journey of taking care of my body and working out rigorously, I realized there is more to this journey. I recall being so angry at the scale when I would notice no change in the numbers after two weeks of hard work.  The past three months for me have been more than a physical transition, it is also spiritual. For the past two days I kept repeating in my head that spirituality is mentality. Although some may disagree, your mentality is your state of beliefs and your way of thinking. Spirituality is the intangible aspect of the human experience, and is the driver of our belief and behavioral systems. I was fighting myself throughout this journey and still do some days in regards to my intake. My taste buds have changed drastically and I’m realizing the effects of low-frequency foods, as opposed to  higher vibrational foods. I was angry with the scale for not moving but I realized my mentality and reasoning for the weight loss at that point wasn’t congruent to who I was meant to become. I have been up and down constantly over the years in my weight, but this time it feels different. This time I am doing it for me, and to be able to keep up with my five-year old son. Most of all, over these years I truly believe I was afraid of the women that I could potentially be. In fact most people are. Many women hide behind their layers of weight physically as a cushion. So to give you a better understanding, I had a problem spiritually and within my reality, of letting go. I have carried the weight that I have gained since I got pregnant with my first son for the last six years. My problem area being my womb/stomach area.  Even though I went through the loss of the stillbirth and thought I spent time healing, my body unconsciously held on to everything that I ate. How many women do you hear ” I shouldn’t be eating this, it will go right to my stomach” or “I have a slow metabolism, I’m going to gain a bunch of weight from eating this”. This is a prime example of the importance of changed mentality. The way I thought about myself reflected within the way that I looked and the weight that I carried.

weightloss

Another example of spiritual weight are women that have experienced some form of sexual trauma and have acquired an extensive amount of weight gain. Many women unconsciously build these bodies to protect themselves from further sexual trauma. The crazy aspect of this is when I begun my human ways kicked in, and I wanted instant gratification. I have been neglecting my body and not nourishing or exercising as I should for years, and I expected a transition within a month or two. This was the trying time for me, as the numbers did not drop. I saw the physical change in the measurements but the numbers were not moving. I was going to quit, and say that maybe this was the weight I was meant to be. I decided to keep going and pounds just began to come off. One day I deleted some old photos of my ex I had, and I also decided to get rid of my stillborn son’s box of memorabilia. I will either give it back to his father, or bury it. I no longer feel the need to hold on to things that no longer serve me. I refuse to remain stuck in the chapters of trauma. They no longer serve the person that I am becoming. The things that I am required to do, I cannot be in an uncomfortable physical or mental state. It’s not about losing the weight, it is about letting that shit go. Once you start the journey of caring for your body it goes into a state of shock as this is different for it. Your body not only moves, but has the ability to heal itself. Our mentality and thoughts affect our weight, the foods we consume, and how we care for ourselves. Let go of the pain of your past, work towards your future body, and watch you become your own body goals.

Yogi

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