She. Just. Left.
Left with only what could fit in her car. Although she has accumulated a lot over the years, nothing was worth more than her peace. Days before leaving even a few miles away from her destination, she was afraid. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of failing, afraid of people having the ability to say “I told you so”. One thing trumped her fears, and that was her faith. Her heart was set on another destination, another love, and just waiting things out. They were her comfort. A blanket to her fear of doing exactly what she always wanted to do. She took all that was necessary, no longer what was just important. As we sometimes fail to see what we believed was important was not a necessity. Her tower was a blaze, and all she could do was save her son and herself. Many things have been taken from her. Loved ones, money, mostly material things. The more she lost, the more she realized she had everything she needed. The fear behind losing things silenced its screams within her ego. As she realized she was the power behind manifesting it all. She realized what was meant for her will be. Destiny.
Clothes being worn on repeat, ramen noodle dinners for a week, what are you willing to sacrifice for your peace. The beach. She had a dream of always living closer to a beach. Finding her sanity and relief. Everything around her was good enough for the old her. Imagine being placed in a box where your wings cannot spread. Instability was her concern as the main question was “Do you have family there?” “Who is down there?”. She had no idea what was waiting for her, yet something tells me she has outgrown her current space. Every item of clothing she packed could not be worn in the new season she was stepping into. She couldn’t bring the lovers of her past she spent years chasing, nor her same old views of herself. When the sun shines, and the temperature rises, she is allowed to be stripped of the layers she once covered herself for warmth. She now has a clean slate, where she can be herself. Meet new friends that are on the same path, gain new experiences, and be renewed. Letting go of what was once holding her down in beliefs of unworthiness, and accepting and tolerating what was given. Everything flowed. People tried to find ways to block this season, but they couldn’t. It wasn’t when she felt she had enough from the place she was in, that she manifested the new location. It was when the work was done within, did the new place call for her. Wherever she went, she took herself with her. With just herself and her six year old, no man, no house, no dog, no white pickett fence, no saved funds, no plan, and just faith. SHE. JUST. LEFT. That she was me!
This post is inspired by @she.just.left post on Instagram yesterday as she reminded me of my current journey. Choosing a life driven solely by my own desires as well as my sons. May this inspire you to chase your dreams and face your fears.